Where Are My Words ??

May I ask you…? How are you today?  How is everything with you? How is life?

Let me guess your response…. Ummmm… you were going to say

"Fine, everything thing is good thank God".

 Am I right or am I right??

Did you notice that you stopped using your words to express how you actually feel, and instead you just said you're okay to end this part of the conversation?  You no longer wanna express your emotion, you no longer wanna use your words, though when you were younger you were eager to talk and express yourself …

So let's take it one step at a time and let us trace and untangle this theory I came up with, let us start with you at a young age, when you were just a lil kid….

As a kid you couldn't wait to start talking and expressing yourself, you wanted to tell the whole world how you feel. You shared your happiness and sadness with those around you, and what encouraged you was that you felt that someone was there to listen. Someone cared about you and how you felt. When you laughed and said you're happy you had your parents by your side happy for you. When you're sad & crying " even if was about something stupid" someone will pick you up give you a hug and try to cheer you up, ask you about what's upsetting you. Even if you had the silliest reason for this sadness, they'll still work it out with you; sometimes they may even take you out for ice-cream or get you some sweets. In the end they will listen to what you have to say and act accordingly.

Now you grew up a lil and you’re a teen, but still you find a reason to speak and express yourself.

You scream you shout and you disagree and make a fuss about everything, you use your words to rebel. Sometimes you're heard and someone argues with you about your thoughts, once you win the argument and you lose a thousand times, but still you know that you were heard. Sometimes you even argue about something that you're not convinced with, just to prove you're there. Sometimes you may even get grounded for the stuff you say, yet your satisfied cuz in the end you were heard what you were aiming for happened. The only reason you spoke was cuz you wanted to prove that you're there and that your words matter.

And when you're down you've got your friends to go to, cuz most the time they too are dealing with what you're going through. In short you've got them to talk to; they'll be there for you. Telling you exactly what you wanna hear, and making you feel better. If you're excited they'll share your excitement and have a good time with you.

Now that we proved that being a kid or a teen would mean that you'd find a reason to speak and your silent stage only occurs when you turn into an adult. Let's take it step by step and watch ourselves as we lose the will to speak and express what we feel.

Now you're no longer a lil kid nor are you a teen, you've finally turned into an adult and you see the world in different way. You realize that the people you bothered with every word that ever came into your mind – your parents– have other things they're concerned with. You notice that your parents have a lot on mind and they've got enough stuff to deal with, they don't need to hear that non-sense going through your mind. So you decide to leave them with their own troubles and keep what's bothering you to yourself.

Some would try doing what they did as teens and go to their friends, but soon they regret it.

If you go to your friend with bad news and try to tell them that you're not feeling okay, that you feel sad and hurt, most of them would say"stop feeling sorry for yourself" or "there’s always someone worse off than you are, just move on " or "try not to be so depressed " and the sweet ones would say " just thank god and cheer up"

But only a few would  give you a pat on the back or a warm hug and tell you it's going to be okay and listen to what you have to say.

If you go to your friends with good news somehow they tend to put you down, telling you that whatever is making you excited at the moment won't last. Or they'll start randomly pointing out the bad things you're going through, and end up getting you depressed and then they'd tell you to stop being sad all the time -_-

But again a few would actually be happy for you, and would just be excited for your sake even if they're going through a hard time.

So are you still wondering why we stop using our words, its cuz as time passes we notice that no-one really cares about what we have to say. Our words mean nothing to most of the people, and you may be talking to someone and they're hearing you but they aint listening to a word you're saying. That's why you notice that most of the people who really have something to say are all sitting quiet  cuz they value there words too much that they're not willing to say them and let them go to waste " not fulfilling their purpose of meaning something".

So if you want me to use my words and tell you what's really going through my mind, show me that you're really interested in what I'm about to say.

Hanaa Al-Gawish